


Last Exit for the Lost

by gothclark



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dark, First Time, M/M, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-12
Updated: 2011-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-27 06:12:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothclark/pseuds/gothclark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why did Sam say yes to Lucifer and what happened when Castiel tried to talk him out of it. A year can change a man, especially if his brother won't return his calls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Exit for the Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta readers teot, danceswithgary, and kilynn16. You all make me look good. Remaining errors are my own. Written for the sassy_minibang.

Sam felt almost human when he stepped out of the shower. He rubbed his wet hair with the towel, glad to be clean. Sitting down on the bed in the spare room and placing his watch and ring on the nightstand, Sam contemplated his decision to see Bobby. He'd thought it would clear his head, but all the trip had accomplished was to make Sam feel even more anxious.

Standing, Sam let the towel drop to the floor. Just as he started to dress, the silent flutter of wings filled the air. He turned to find Castiel standing behind him, much too close for comfort. The fact that Sam was still naked didn't seem to faze Castiel in the least. He stood looking up into Sam's eyes without a word then his gaze trailed down and back up to fall on Sam's chest.

"I'm kind of in the middle of something here, Cas," Sam said when the silence and the stares went on too long.

Sam tried to indicate with body language that he wanted Castiel to move, but Castiel stood his ground and continued to scrutinize him as though Sam were some foreign object. When the subtle approach didn't work, Sam returned Castiel's stare, narrowing his eyes and tilting his own head in imitation of Castiel's posture.

"I heard some disturbing news," Castiel said, his gaze fixed on the anti-possession tattoo on Sam's chest.

"Did Dean tell you?" Sam asked. He sat down on the bed, used his t-shirt to cover himself, and breathed a sigh of relief when Castiel finally moved away.

"No," Castiel said. If Sam didn't know better, he would swear that Castiel sounded miserable about the fact that Dean hadn't confided in him. Now, as Sam paid closer attention, he realized that Castiel not only sounded but also looked miserable. His shoulders seemed to droop, and when he turned to face Sam again, there was darkness in Castiel's eyes.

"Did you know about this all along?" Sam asked. He looked down at himself and wished Castiel would give him some privacy. He was about to ask for just that when Castiel spoke up.

"I didn't. I was only told what I needed to know," Castiel said.

"Hey, Cas, could you..." Sam started to say. Much to Sam's frustration, Castiel sat down on the bed beside him, staring down at the floor. Sam sighed and stood up, dressing as quickly as he could. He kept his own eyes averted, hoping that Castiel wouldn't look up - not that he was ashamed of his body, because he wasn't. He just wasn't into being naked in front of other people, especially when that other person happened to be an angel.

When Sam did look over at Castiel, he saw that Castiel was staring at him. Sam cleared his throat, and sat down on the bed again beside Castiel.

"What do you plan to do?" Castiel asked, turning to look at Sam. There was a hint of accusation in his eyes and in the tone of his voice.

"I told him I'd never say yes," Sam said with firm confidence.

"He can be very persuasive," Castiel said. Their gazes locked and Sam felt frustration build deep inside his gut.

"I don't care. I will never say yes to that arrogant SOB," Sam said. He broke the gaze, unable to look Castiel in the eyes any longer. He could feel heat build up in his body at their closeness. Sam quashed those thoughts just as he'd done all the other times he'd been in Castiel's presence.

"Plenty of angels, more powerful and with stronger wills than your own, have said yes to him."

Sam stood and turned on Castiel, practically shoving his finger in Castiel's face.

"I'm not going to say yes!" Sam exclaimed, his anger growing with each passing second. "He's fucking Satan, for God's sake! I won't say yes! I never will! Oh, and by the way, how's that search for God going? Maybe if he showed his sorry deadbeat ass around here, none of this would have happened!"

Castiel stood in a flurry of motion, his trench coat swirling around him as he grabbed Sam by the t-shirt and flung him onto the bed. Sam lay sprawled across the bed, his legs spread wide, staring up at the expression of anger blazing on Castiel's face. Castiel rushed forward and pushed a knee between Sam's legs.

"Do not speak that way about my father!" Castiel shouted. His voice filled the room and Sam flinched as the sound echoed in his head. Sam suppressed a shiver when Castiel leaned in closer and placed his hand on Sam's chest, pinning Sam to the bed. Sam clenched his jaw, fear and desire roiling in his gut, thinking that maybe angering Castiel hadn't been such a great idea.

Sam felt his head swim as he reached up and grabbed hold of the tie that dangled from Castiel's neck. All he needed to do was yank, and the space that separated them would vanish. In the back of his mind, a voice screamed not to do it, but his body shouted something else. He pulled Castiel in close until Castiel lost his balance and fell down on top of Sam, their mouths crashed together and Sam pushed his tongue past Castiel's closed lips, forcing them open. When Castiel didn't resist, Sam took it as an invitation. He devoured Castiel's lush mouth, using his advantage to roll them over, grinding his hips against Castiel. Sam's growing erection stiffened.

Castiel broke the kiss and stared up at Sam. In one swift movement, he pushed Sam off and jumped from the bed. Sam lay in a heap, stunned by what had just happened. When he glanced up, he saw Castiel touch his own mouth and, in the next moment, he vanished in a rush of air and a flurry of wings.

Sam sat up.

"Fuck." Sam touched his tingling lips. He could still feel the press of Castiel's lips on his own. He'd always wondered what an angel tasted like. Now he knew.

* * *

When he went downstairs, Sam found Bobby lost in thought.

"Hey Bobby," Sam said. He tucked his hands into his jeans pockets and took a deep breath.

"Did he talk to you?"

Sam nodded and glanced around the room. He assumed Bobby meant Castiel and half-expected him to be down here. When Castiel didn't make an appearance, Sam relaxed and slumped down on the sofa. He stared at Bobby's expectant expression.

"Well," said Bobby, his eyes wide. "Did you at least listen to what he had to say?"

"We sort of got into a fight." Sam bowed his head in shame and hid behind his bangs. Bobby bumped against Sam's leg with his chair and, when Sam looked up, Bobby was glaring at him.

"Why do I even try?" Bobby said with a shake of his head. "You can't keep doing this."

"Doing what, Bobby?" Sam asked. He felt trapped on the sofa, unable to move without pushing Bobby's chair aside, and that just seemed like a nasty thing to do to his friend.

"Doing this," Bobby said with a wave of one hand. They sat in silence and Bobby reached out to touch Sam on the knee. "Look, I get it. This is a tough one, and I wish I knew what to say here."

"No offence, Bobby, but you don't get it. I'm supposed to let the devil ride around inside my skin. And it seems like I don't have a say in the matter."

"Don't be stupid," Bobby said with a look of distaste.

"He told me I would say yes," Sam said. He stared down at his hands, overwhelmed with the burden of it all. His chest felt constricted, and he wished more than anything that Dean was there.

"Well, Satan doesn't know you like I do," Bobby said with indignation. He squared his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. "If you want, you can stay here for awhile."

"Thanks, Bobby." Sam felt just a little of the weight lift from his shoulders.

"So what did you and Castiel fight about?" Bobby asked, rolling his chair out of the way.

"Nothing," Sam said. He stood up and resisted the urge to touch his lips, his mind flashing back to the kiss. "It was stupid."

Bobby stared up at Sam, obviously gauging whether to pursue the question further. He gave a huff and turned away from Sam to roll into the kitchen.

"Come give me a hand with some things," Bobby called out behind him.

Sam rushed forward to help, glad to be useful.

* * *

Sam piled the last of the car radios in the shed and brushed dirt from his hands, feeling his back crack as he stretched. He took a deep breath before he closed the door and bolted the lock in place. It had been two weeks since his encounter with Castiel, and Sam had done all but beg Bobby to keep him too busy to think. Lucky for Sam, Bobby had no trouble with that. There was plenty of work to keep Sam busy until the middle of next year. By the end of most days, Sam was too exhausted to think. Right now, he tried not to dwell on the fact that Dean had not called.

Sam moved back into the house to find that Bobby had already retired to his first floor bedroom. Sam rapped on the door.

"Do you need anything else before I go upstairs?" he asked.

"You can come in," Bobby called out.

Sam opened the door. Bobby was in bed, an old hardcover book in his hand. "I finished all the sorting you asked me to do," said Sam.

"Thanks," Bobby said. He lowered the book and set it down in his lap. "There's plenty more work for you to do tomorrow."

"Great." Sam closed the door, went to the fridge, and pulled out three beers. He went up to the second floor and put all but one of the beers in the bedroom before he went to the bathroom. Sam opened the bottle and tossed the cap in the trash. He took a long pull, catching his reflection in the mirror. He stared at himself and set the bottle aside. His mind swirled with thoughts of his encounter with Castiel.

Sam removed his flannel shirt and let it fall to the floor. He pulled off his t-shirt, set it down on the bathroom counter, and stared at himself. His skin had grown tanned with all the outdoor work he'd been doing these past few weeks. He pinched one of his nipples and felt his dick start to harden. Sam thought about Castiel's mouth as he caressed his chest with both hands. Closing his eyes, he licked his lips, the memory of Castiel's soft mouth beneath his own filling his mind. He trailed one hand down to the edge of his jeans fondling his growing erection through his pants. He'd tried not to think about Castiel. He'd made every effort to put Castiel out of his mind, and he'd tried not to wonder if Castiel ever thought about the kiss.

Despite his efforts, there was no denying it. Sam wanted that moment to happen again.

He leaned forward and dropped his gaze, a deep sigh escaping his lips. When he looked up at his reflection through his long bangs, Sam sneered.

"You are so fucked up," he told his other self. He reached out to touch the cheek of his mirror reflection and leaned forward to rest his head against the glass. His mind flashed back to the one fact he could not forget - Castiel had reciprocated. It hadn't been a one-sided kiss.

Sam eyed his warped reflection and pushed away from the glass feeling as though the entire subject was too close for comfort. Turning his back on his reflection, he unbuckled his belt then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants to pull them open. Sam leaned his ass against the counter and slid his hand through his briefs to cup himself. He squeezed once, and then pulled his hand out in frustration. He needed to shower. He felt dirty and disgusting. Sam let his jeans slide from his hips and stared at the floor. It was insane how horny he was, and his dick jerked just at the thought of that word. He rushed to remove his briefs, slipping them off and kicking them aside then turning toward the tub to start the shower. The cool air on his naked ass felt good, and his dick started to harden when he brushed the smooth length with his fingertips.

Sam stepped inside the shower with a sigh of relief. The hot water sluiced over his skin. His dick bobbed, but Sam ignored his erection. He shampooed his hair, allowing the lather to build and then washing it away. He thought about what Castiel would feel like against his naked skin, remembered how strong he'd felt when he had Sam pinned beneath him, his knees thrust between Sam's open legs. Castiel had felt sinewy when he'd been beneath him. Sam could tell that Castiel's body had not one ounce of fat on every inch of that six-foot frame.

Sam closed his eyes and moaned as he soaped up his chest and arms, taking his time with each caress. When his cock pulsed, Sam groaned aloud, but he still resisted. He continued to soap his chest and arms and stood under the hot water to wash the suds away, staring down at the drain and watching the foamy water swirl. Spreading his legs as far as he could manage in the enclosed space, he kneaded his thigh with one hand while he leaned against the wall with the other.

He resisted as long as he could before he wrapped his hand around his cock and gave it one long, slow stroke, flinging his head back and moaning at the touch. It sent thrills up and down his body, and his cock pulsed again. He stroked his length once more and imagined Castiel down on his knees before him with a wide-open, eager mouth.

"Yes," Sam moaned with each stroke of his cock. He slowed down whenever he found himself starting to speed up. He wanted it to last. He wanted to savor every second of the moment. It had been months since he'd been with anyone, and the last time he'd come into any contact remotely resembling something romantic had been the kiss he'd shared with Castiel.

His eyes still closed, Sam indulged in the pretense that Castiel was there. His beautiful blue eyes stared up at Sam and pleaded with him. Maybe Castiel was hurt, and Sam was there to comfort him. Sam almost cringed at the thought. Nevertheless, this was nothing more than a fantasy. Resolved, Sam envisioned Castiel on his knees because Sam put him there. Sam wanted Castiel to do his bidding. He would take Sam's cock into his mouth and suck him. Sam would thrust deep into his tight, hot mouth, and Castiel would keep his hands at his sides because Sam never allowed Castiel to touch him.

Sam's eyes flew open as he climaxed. His knees buckled, and he almost fell forward, but he managed at the last second to catch himself. He panted and continued to stroke his cock, watching each splash of come as it mixed with the spray of the water.

"Shit," Sam said. He slowly dropped to his knees and gripped the edge of the tub.

* * *

The next few weeks went by fast. Sam had no time to think because of all the work Bobby had him doing. He was glad for the distraction. Most nights he was too tired to do much more than collapse in bed and fall into dreamless sleep. They'd taken extra care to place wards around Bobby's property to keep all manner of angel or demon away. Some nights, Sam would have nightmares about the night he'd killed Lilith and raised the devil. Other nights he dreamed he was back with Dean, and they would hunt together. Those nights were the worst because he'd wake up with his chest feeling so empty that he thought he'd never be able to get out of bed. He dreaded those nights most.

He was working on a car when they stopped in to visit. Sam set the ratchet down, and straightened. He wiped his greasy hands on a dirty rag as he watched Ellen and Jo pull into the junk yard. Jo climbed from the car first and waved to Sam. Ellen didn't spare him a glance before she slammed the car door shut.

"Hey," Sam said. He abandoned his project and followed them up to the front of the house, flinching when Ellen gave him a sideways look that could kill. Not sure what she was mad about and afraid to ask, Sam somehow managed to sneak past them and opened the front door, stepping aside before Ellen walked right into him. Bobby was there to greet them.

"Bobby," Ellen said. She bent to give him a quick hug while Jo smiled and stared up at Sam. When Ellen straightened and spun to smack Sam across the chest, he flinched from the unexpected blow. "Why do you boys always have to be so stubborn?"

"I don't know, ma'am," Sam said. He rubbed his sternum where Ellen had slapped him and flinched when she wrapped her arms around him.

"Come here, you fool." Ellen squeezed him with all her strength, and Sam wrapped his arms around her. He tried to pull away, but Ellen wouldn't let go. When the hug ended, Sam turned to Jo, who shrugged and pulled a face.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm always glad to see a fellow hunter," Bobby said, "but what brings you to my neck of the woods? Last I heard you were up state on the trail of a demon nest." Bobby moved toward the kitchen, and Ellen followed, leaving Sam and Jo behind.

Jo turned, her blonde hair swirling around her head. "So you and Dean split up," she said with a twinkle in her eye and arms folded.

"We did," Sam said. He folded his own arms and frowned.

"I never thought I'd see the day," Jo said. Her eyes trailed up and down Sam and Sam cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable. Jo smiled and punched him on the shoulder. "I'm kidding."

"Ha, ha," Sam said. He stumbled back a step when she jumped into his arms and gave him a big hug.

"Break it up," Ellen said. She and Bobby were back in the room, and Sam could see by their expressions that they hadn't just talked about the weather.

Sam pulled away from Jo, who walked to her mother's side. They all stared at him as if they were expecting him to make some kind of speech.

"What is it?" Sam asked. The tension in the room built; he tried not to fidget on the spot.

"We need your help," Ellen said.

"If it's about a hunt...." Sam began, but stopped when Bobby glared at him.

"This is one you're going to want to help with," Bobby said. He held up an old book. The title on the cover was so faded that Sam couldn't make it out. "After hearing what Ellen had to say, I have a suspicion about what they may have found."

Sam put his hands on his hips, ready to say no.

"This is big," Bobby said. "And you..." he pointed at Sam, "are going to help them because they are not going in alone on this one." He opened the book onto his lap and stared at the pages. "And there came another horseman, and he rode a pale horse and all things living that were touched by this horse withered in its wake." Bobby looked up to Sam.

"You're kidding," Sam said, feeling foolish even as he spoke the words because he knew that Bobby never joked about these things.

"It's Death, and he's just a few blocks away," Bobby said. "Well, not literally a few blocks, but close by, and we have to do something about this."

"How do you plan to stop Death?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Bobby said with a glare.

"This thing is killing every living creature in its path," Ellen said. She glared up at Sam with narrowed eyes.

"But this is Death we're talking about," Sam said, hesitant to say what he was thinking. This was insane. They couldn't possibly think that they could fight it. Death was the one horseman that he'd hoped never to come across because there was no way they could win. They hadn't even beaten War. Sam wondered if he needed to remind them of how bad that particular encounter had gone.

"We have to do something," Jo said.

Sam could see from the expression on her face that she might be just as skeptical about the whole endeavor as he was.

"I get that, but what...?" Sam said with a frown. He wished more than anything that Dean was here, but he wasn't and Sam was. Sam held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, I'll go with you."

Ellen nodded and turned to Jo. "We better start packing. This is going to be a rough ride."

"Hold on a second," Bobby said. "First we need to do some research. You're not going into this half-cocked."

"That's right, we need to be full-cocked," Sam blurted without thinking. Wide-eyed, he turned to see that Ellen didn't find his comment amusing. Sam relaxed when her frown turned into a smile.

"We'll need some food," Ellen said. "I volunteer you two for food duty." Jo looked as though she would protest, but quickly shut her mouth when her mother narrowed her eyes.

Sam followed Jo into the kitchen and left Bobby and Ellen to start the research. He knew the whole endeavor was likely pointless but, if it made them all feel better, he was willing to go along. He wasn't about to voice his opinion in front of Ellen. She was kind of scary, and Sam held a small amount of sympathy for Jo. He pulled the leftover oven roast out of the fridge and set it down on the kitchen counter. Jo stood with her arms crossed, watching him take the plates from the cupboard. He set them down on the kitchen table and waited for her to speak her mind.

"I'm trying to figure out why," Jo said. She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at him.

Sam shrugged. "Why what?" He thought he knew what she meant, but he wasn't about to guess. There was always a chance he'd get it wrong. He still flinched a little whenever he saw her after a long absence because of that demon possession thing.

"Why would you and Dean split up?" Jo leaned against the kitchen counter and screwed her face up.

"It's complicated," Sam said. He went back to the task of preparing something to eat.

"Why does it always have to be complicated with you two?" She wasn't letting up.

Sam stopped slicing the roast. "Because he's my brother and that's just how it is," he said. "Look, I got this covered, why don't you go help with the research?" He turned his back on her and picked up the knife again.

"I didn't mean to pry."

"Yes, you did," Sam said. He didn't bother turning around. He could feel his patience start to waver. He hoped if he ignored her she'd take his advice, but that didn't seem to be an option.

"Sam!" Ellen stormed into the kitchen with both hands on her hips, her face twisted with anger. Sam looked from her to Jo and wondered what the hell he'd done this time.

"Mom." Jo stepped in between her mother and Sam.

"When were you going to tell us that you're Satan?" Ellen said. Sam looked to Bobby who was right behind Ellen. Bobby shrugged.

"Sorry, she got it out of me," Bobby said. He didn't sound sorry and Sam clenched his jaw in frustration.

Ellen was still glaring, and Jo had spun to stare at him, confused.

"I'm not Satan," Sam said.

"Let me guess," Jo said. She crossed her arms again, anger growing on her face. "It's complicated."

"Yes, it is," said Sam. He stared her down until she looked away then turned his glare on Ellen. Sam held up his hands. "Lucifer's supposed to ride in my skin, but I am not about to let him."

The room went silent. Bobby ducked his head, looking contrite. Sam felt as if his whole world were crumbling. He would have to leave. There was no way he could stay there.

Jo blinked first. "We know you'd never say yes." Jo looked to her mother, her eyes pleading. "Right, Mom?" Sam could hear the hesitation in her voice. Sam watched and Ellen didn't flinch. He could tell she didn't trust him. He knew that look. He'd seen it in Dean's eyes a few times.

Sam turned and walked out of the room, past Ellen, past Jo, and past Bobby, who turned his chair to follow Sam. Rushing up the stairs to his bedroom, he began to pack his bag thinking he could hide the bag under the bed until it got dark and be on the road before anyone knew he was missing. The door swung open on its hinges, and Sam turned to see Jo staring at him.

"It sucks to be you," she quipped.

'Yes, it does,' Sam wanted to say, but instead he stuffed his shirts into his bag and pulled the zipper shut. "I can't go with you to fight Death," he said. He sat down on the bed and Jo flopped down beside him. The old bed shook from their weight. Sam took a deep breath, his eyes focused on the wall before him.

"What are you going to do next?" Jo turned on her side and propped her head up on one hand. Sam stared down at Jo as she played with the hem of his t-shirt. Once upon a time things could have been different between them, but too much water under the bridge and too much pain between them made that impossible.

"I'm not sure," Sam said with a sigh. He seemed to do that a lot these days.

"I have an idea," Jo said. She sat up and jumped into his lap, straddling him. She held his head and mashed her mouth against his lips then pushed him down on the bed. Sam struggled and tried to pull away, but she was stronger than he remembered.

"What the hell," Sam said once he managed to pull her back. Her eyes turned black, and that's when he knew she - it - wasn't Jo. Maybe it had never been Jo. Then Sam realized too late, that they hadn't even tested Jo and Ellen for demon possession. He also realized at the exact same time that Jo's anti-possession necklace was gone.

"Hello, Sammy," Jo said, her voice different. "This is what we're going to do. You and me, we're going to leave together, and I'm going to take you to Him or else this little bitch will meet her end." She grinned and wriggled in Sam's lap.

Sam lay back, fuming inside. He was helpless to stop the demon from doing whatever it could to hurt Jo, and there was no way he wanted her death on his conscience. He nodded, hoping that he could bide his time.

The demon leaned in and writhed against Sam. Her mouth locked onto his, but Sam didn't reciprocate. He tried to push her off, but she was too strong. She bit his lip, and he yelped in pain.

"Kiss me back or I will hurt you." Hesitating, Sam shut his eyes and gave into the demon's demands. The second kiss was long and Sam thought of cold showers, old wrinkled people, anything that would turn him off. He kept his arms at his sides, unwilling to touch Jo's body without her permission. When she wouldn't stop, Sam bit down on her top lip hard enough to draw blood.

The demon pulled back and licked the blood from her lip. "You naughty boy. I knew you liked the rough stuff. I heard rumors you even liked them dead," she said with a cackle.

Sam pushed her off and jumped from the bed, feeling as if his skin was crawling.

She curled up with laughter. "Sam Winchester! You are more fucked up than any demon I ever met." She lay across the bed in a lurid position, thrusting her hips in the air.

Sam looked away. "If you want me to go with you, it'd better be now or so help me..."

"Fine," she said. She slithered off the bed and draped her arms around his neck. "Let's go, lover boy."

Sam held her back when she tried to kiss him again. "If you behave this way in front of Ellen and Bobby, they'll get suspicious and know something is up."

"I guess all the rumors about you are false," the demon said. She slid away from Sam and stalked to the door, swinging it open to let Sam exit the room first. Sam ran every scenario he could think of in his head, but nothing ended with Jo still alive. The demon could kill her in a heartbeat. He needed the element of surprise, but had no idea how he could get that without tipping her off.

"Who are you, anyway?" Sam asked. She pushed him from behind and, before Sam could get his answer, they were at the bottom of the stairs. He could hear voices from the living room. The demon pushed him again, and Sam stumbled forward. The voices in the next room sounded heated and, when Sam and the demon-possessed Jo entered, Bobby and Ellen both turned to face them. Ellen's face was red and Bobby looked upset.

"We're going out for a drive," the demon said with a smile.

Ellen frowned at them both. She was probably trying to come up with an excuse to say no. Sam could have come up with a million. When the demon's back was to him, Sam motioned with his eyes at Jo and tried to mouth a warning, but then the demon turned to smile up at him.

"We'll be back soon," Sam said. For just a moment, Sam was sure Bobby had noticed his hint, but then he just shrugged his shoulders and turned his chair around.

"Don't be too long," Ellen said with a glare directed at Sam.

"I promise to bring her back safe, ma'am," Sam said. He noted that Ellen was wearing her anti-possession necklace, which meant he didn't have to worry about her. He could concentrate on how he'd save Jo. His mind raced with what to do next. If he didn't think of something, they would walk out that door, and Jo would be lost.

"Oh, um, before you two take off," Bobby said. "I need to show you something. Follow me." Bobby rolled across the room and through the doorway to his den. Ellen followed close behind.

The demon glared up at Sam and he shrugged. She pointed a finger at him as a warning, but she didn't say anything before she followed Bobby and Ellen into the den. The demon froze on the spot and Sam stopped just short of entering the room. He looked up at the devil's trap on the ceiling. Relief filled him when he realized that Bobby had understood his cryptic message.

"You son of a bitch," the demon said to Sam. Her eyes went black and Sam stepped into the trap with it to grab Jo's arms before it could do anything to hurt Jo. The demon pulled a dagger from her jacket and stabbed at Sam. The blade plunged into his shoulder to the hilt. Sam screamed in pain and staggered back, slamming into the wall. He clutched at the dagger, staring wide-eyed at Jo who leered at him.

"I bet you thought I was going for the bitch's heart," she said.

Ellen rushed to Sam's side, bending to look at his wound. Sam cried out with each motion. The dagger embedded in his shoulder felt cold and blood poured from the wound to the floor.

Ellen pressed a cloth against the wound. The fabric turned crimson in seconds. She grabbed hold of the knife handle and looked into his eyes. "Ready?"

Sam nodded and braced for pain. When it shot through him, he clenched his teeth and stifled a cry. Ellen dropped the knife beside Sam and tried to stem the flow of blood.

"Lucky for you, she didn't hit anything major," Ellen said. She concentrated on the wound and took the medical kit Bobby offered. Sam leaned against the wall and gazed at Jo. She paced back and forth as far as the devil's trap would allow. Her arms were crossed, and the expression on her face was calm.

When Ellen was finished tending to Sam, she helped him stand. He flicked his hair from his eyes and stalked forward, eyes locked on Jo. "Get out of her," he said with a clenched jaw.

"Make me," the demon said. She leaned forward and puckered her lips. "You're so delicious," she said, licking her lips. The demon turned to look at Ellen. "He is such a great kisser. You should try him some time. Maybe the three of us could get something going." She winked at Sam, and then looked past him. "You could join in too, pops. I'm not usually into old guys, but the whole helpless thing just turns me on." She ran her hands up and down her body and thrust her hips at Bobby.

Bobby looked too stunned to form a response. Ellen just looked away.

The demon twirled a blonde lock around her finger and battered her eyelashes at Sam. "I think Jo likes you. You made us all hot and bothered."

"Shut up!" Ellen screamed. She rushed forward and grabbed the demon-killing knife, brandishing it over her head. When Sam saw the glint of steel, despite his pain, he jumped onto Ellen and wrapped his arms around her. Sam could see Jo flinch out of the corner of his eye.

Sam's knife wound screamed with agony, but he ignored the pain to keep his grip on Ellen. He couldn't let her do something she might regret later. At first, she thrashed in his arms, but then calmed down once she realized that Sam was not going to let go.

"Who are you?" Ellen asked.

"I'm a demon, stupid," the demon said with a sneer. Her eyes were focused on the knife Ellen still held in a tight grip.

"If you don't hurt her, we won't send you back to Hell," Sam said. "Just tell me who you are and where we can find your boss."

The demon rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, her chin held high, and her eyes full of defiance.

"She's never going to talk," Bobby said.

"Then do it," Sam said.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio..." Bobby began.

"Stop that!" the demon said.

"Infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica...," Bobby continued. He kept his eyes locked on Jo, each word a snarl. "Perditionis venenum propinare."

Jo stumbled and fell to the floor, clutching her throat. She writhed with each word Bobby spoke. "He'll get you in the end, Sam," she said. As Bobby continued to chant the ritual, she pushed herself to her feet, staggering to stay standing. The howl of the wind outside grew louder.

"Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciae."

The demon locked her gaze on Sam and smiled. Bobby rolled closer and began to shout the words as a wind picked up and something heavy slammed against the house. Sam and Ellen moved in closer and watched as Jo started to writhe. Her eyes blackened for just a moment before she flung her head back, and black smoke poured up to the ceiling from her wide-open mouth. Sam stepped back and, when the smoke was gone, Jo collapsed to the floor. Ellen rushed to her daughter's side.

"Girl, you'd better be all right, or I'm going to kick your ass," Ellen said. Sam could see the glint of tears in her eyes. When Jo didn't move, Ellen shook her and looked to Sam, sorrow in her eyes.

Sam sighed with relief when Jo suddenly sputtered and woke. She was alive, no thanks to him. Rushing forward, Sam helped move Jo to the sofa. She could barely stand on her own feet, and her eyes went wide with fear when she saw Sam. Bobby handed Ellen the first aid kit, though Jo didn't seem to have a scratch on her.

"I'm so sorry," Jo said. Tears brimmed in her eyes. "I couldn't stop her. I was there. I could feel what she was going to do, but...."

Ellen pushed him aside and knelt by her daughter's side. "You'll be fine," she said.

Sam stood back and watched as mother soothed daughter, thankful that something had gone right.

* * *

The house appeared different now with Bobby, Jo, and Ellen asleep inside. Sam stared up at the darkened windows and released the breath he'd been holding. He was safe there, but what good was that if his friends could be used as pawns against him? He couldn't allow that. Sam knew leaving was the best course of action. He stuffed his duffle in the trunk of the car and climbed in.

He stepped on the gas and stared at the dark road ahead. After he'd put a few miles of road behind him, his cell phone rang. Sam pulled over to the side of the road and turned the car off. The sudden silence was eerie, the tick of the engine the only noise around him. Sam stared down at his phone. He should leave it, let it go to voicemail, but instead, he flipped the phone open and answered the call.

"Where are you, Sam?" Bobby said. He sounded grumpy.

"I left," Sam said. "Before you say anything, it's for the best, so don't try to find me or send someone after me."

The other end of the line was silent except for Bobby's breathing.

"Okay," Bobby said with resignation.

"Okay," Sam said. Another silence stretched between them. Bobby was much like Dean when it came to talking things out. "I promise to keep in touch."

"Just be careful, and do me a favor, stay away from Detroit," Bobby said.

"Why? What's in Detroit?"

"Bad beer," Bobby said. "Just promise me you'll do this one thing for me."

"Okay, Bobby. I promise," Sam said, ending the call.

Sam sat in the quiet car. He tilted his head to look up to the sky. It was a clear night, the stars shone bright, and he had parked on a stretch of dark road. Sam climbed out of the car, ignoring the nip in the air, and walked to the back to sit on the trunk and stare up at the stars.

"I need you," he whispered, unsure whom he meant as he whispered the words. His plea met with silence. Sam sat for a while watching the stars, darkness surrounding him. He ignored the growing cold and wrapped his arms around his chest, huddled in his jacket. He was tired and needed sleep, but it was late, and he wasn't up to a long drive to the nearest open motel.

Sam sat up and yawned. Just as he was getting back into the car, his phone rang. His heart pounded in his chest at the thought that Dean could be on the other end. Maybe Bobby had urged Dean to call Sam. He could tell Dean just how much Sam needed him. He flipped the phone open.

"Sam." It was Jo. "Sam, you have to come back," she pleaded.

"This is for the best," Sam said before hanging up.

"No!" was the last word he heard before he hit End.

Sam stared down at the glowing screen and leaned forward to rest his forehead on his arms, the steering wheel cold against his skin. He had to face the facts. It was truly over. Dean would never talk to him again, and Sam was alone.

"Hello, Sam." The voice was soft and smooth with an underlying hidden menace. Sam would recognize it anywhere.

"I'm dreaming," Sam said. He must have fallen asleep.

"You vanished from the map, but I've finally found you again," Lucifer said.

Sam turned to face the smug smile, only the smile wasn't smug at all. It was almost sweet, and Sam stared into blue eyes, wondering why it had to be him. If only Dean had let him die.

"Things would be so much different," Lucifer said as though he'd read Sam's mind.

Sam clenched his jaw and flinched when Lucifer reached out and brushed his rough fingers across Sam's cheeks.

"I can take away all your pain," Lucifer said. He stroked Sam's face with his thumb, sending shivers through Sam. "No more heartache, no more questions about your place on Earth. You and me, we would have a purpose. You'll never have to worry about anything or anyone."

"You talk a lot."

Lucifer smiled and continued to stroke Sam's cheek as a lover would. Sam endured the touch, if for no other reason than to show the son of a bitch that he wasn't afraid. Besides, it was just a dream. Despite that thought, Sam wanted to shudder. He wanted to slap the hand away and run as fast and as far as possible, but there was nowhere to hide.

"I have a lot to say. I speak nothing but the truth, Sam."

"I've already given you my answer," Sam said. He clenched his hands into fists. Lucifer pressed his chest against Sam's arm and leaned in close. Sam pulled back as far as the seat would allow. He watched as the crooked smile turned into a frown.

"You'll let me in," Lucifer said.

"I will never say yes." Sam squeezed his eyes shut and turned away. The kiss meant for his lips brushed against his cheek, soft and gentle, and then fading. When Sam opened his eyes, Lucifer was gone. He was alone.

Sam opened his eyes for real this time. He reached up and touched his cheek where the ghost of a kiss lingered. The pitch darkness around him felt stifling. Sam yanked the car door open, spilling from the vehicle onto the ground. He couldn't stop shivering, and as Sam rested his back against the side of car, the ding of the open door warning cut through the silence of the night.

* * *

The next few days were hellish. The knife wound still hurt, and Sam downed painkillers to keep the pain at bay. He found a nice little out of the way town he'd never heard of and rented the cheapest motel room he could, setting talismans to ward away all manner of creature, be it demon or angel, at each corner of the room. The first few days he stayed in the room, he didn't sleep at all. By the fifth day, he could barely keep his eyes open. Sam drank coffee cup after coffee cup and downed caffeine pills, but he was falling apart. He could barely concentrate on the newspaper in front of him. He needed money soon, but there was no way he could get a job when he could barely stand on his feet. He needed sleep but he couldn't risk dreams.

Maybe Castiel would know of some way to keep Lucifer out of his dreams. Sam picked up his cell phone and thumbed down to Castiel's number, a sharp pang in his heart when he saw Dean's name on the display. His finger hovered over Dean's number, but then he scrolled past the name and dialed Castiel.

"Yes," Castiel answered on the first ring.

"I need help," Sam said. He told Castiel where he was and, moments later, the angel stood in the room, arms at his side.

Castiel tilted his head and stared at Sam for a moment before speaking.

"No offense," Castiel said, "but you look terrible." He reached out and touched two fingers to Sam's forehead. In that moment, the pain from the knife wound vanished. Sam pushed his shirt aside to find the gash gone, healed over.

Sam stood, shaky on his feet. "He found me," Sam said. He moved over to the bed and sat down. His hands shook, and he stared down at them, trying to stop them, but they wouldn't stop. He stared until his vision blurred as he wished he'd made better choices.

"Who found you?" Castiel said with narrowed eyes.

"Lucifer finds me in my dreams, and he tells me I have to say yes," Sam said. He felt his chest tighten, his eyes burn. "I can't sleep. I need to know how to keep him away."

Castiel bowed his head, the expression on his face one of sorrow.

"Has Dean asked about me?" Sam wasn't going to ask, but the words just spilled from his mouth of their own volition. He stared up at Castiel and watched as he moved closer, eyes locked on Sam, the answer written all over Castiel's face. Sam's heart sank, and he felt his body give as he slid to the floor. He nodded and licked his dry lips.

"I've no doubt that Dean thinks of you often," Castiel said. "But he doesn't confide in me beyond his next tactical plans to defeat Lucifer and win this war."

Sam stared blankly into space and continued to nod. "Right, sure."

"I could stay with you while you sleep," Castiel said. Sam looked up and saw Castiel's hand come at him. Before he could protest, cool fingers touched his forehead, and his world went black.

* * *

Sam sat up in bed, a scream trapped in his throat. He remembered phoning Castiel, but couldn't be certain it wasn't another dream. He was alone in bed and he lifted the sheets to find that he was naked, but he couldn't remember undressing. He couldn't remember anything beyond making the call, Castiel coming to him, and then blissful sleep.

Still groggy, Sam shook his head and sat up with his feet on the cold wooden floor. He felt hung over, as if he'd been drinking all night. He glanced at the time and saw that only a few hours had passed since he'd called Castiel.

"I had urgent business to attend to."

Castiel was standing a few feet in front of him. Sam straightened and checked that he was covered.

"Did this business have something to do with your quest to find God?" he asked.

"No," Castiel said. He paced across the room then back to the bed, sitting down beside Sam. He looked distracted and frustrated. Sam paid closer attention and realized that there was something else different about Castiel. For just a moment, Castiel fidgeted, and then he folded his hands and placed them in his lap, going still. The changes were subtle; Sam noted that Castiel had cinched his tie and buttoned his suit jacket, though his hair remained messy as always.

"Yes," Castiel said after a long silence.

Sam waited, but Castiel seemed to have lost the ability to articulate what he wanted to say. Perhaps he needed an invitation, or maybe he was here to talk about what had happened between them. Sam hoped that wasn't the case, because that would just be awkward.

"I got some sleep," Sam said. He almost managed a smile. "Thanks."

Castiel stared into Sam's eyes, and Sam could see something more there. He thought maybe it was sorrow, but he wasn't sure, since his perception of everything lately couldn't be trusted. Nothing made sense to Sam now.

"Your perception is whole," Castiel said with a bow of his head.

"What is it?" Sam said. He reached up, hesitant at first, and placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"The search does not go well," Castiel said.

"I'm sorry," Sam said. He tried to think of something more to say, but found he couldn't think of anything. Instead, Sam squeezed Castiel's shoulder again, tighter this time.

"Perhaps it is futile," Castiel said. He stared down at his own hands and his shoulders slumped.

"No," Sam said, shaking his head. "No, it's not."

Castiel looked up to face him once more and Sam could see a spark of something like hope in his eyes.

"I'm glad you managed to sleep," Castiel said. That wasn't what Sam had expected to hear but, just like that, their conversation was over. Castiel stood and slipped from Sam's grip, and Sam followed Castiel's movements as he crossed the room and then turned to face Sam, confusion in his eyes.

"You should stay with me all the time," Sam said in jest.

Castiel glided back across the room so fast, Sam had no time to react. He found himself pushed to the bed with Castiel's weight on top of him. Castiel's warm mouth was on Sam's, and they were kissing. This time, there was no hesitation, and Sam grabbed at Castiel's coat to pull him in closer, mashing their mouths together. He savored the moment, knowing it could end at any second.

Sam closed his eyes and pushed his tongue past parted lips, hungry to taste and lick and feel everything Castiel had to offer. Sam's heart pounded in his chest when Castiel broke the kiss and grabbed a handful of Sam's hair. Their gazes locked and there was hunger in Castiel's eyes.

"You can never say yes." Castiel's voice was deep and vibrated through Sam's entire body. Sam's cock hardened and he thrust against Castiel, reveling in the delicious feel of friction.

"Never," Sam said with conviction. He pushed against Castiel but found he couldn't move. Castiel held him firm, and Sam suppressed a chill. He opened his mouth, but Castiel silenced him with a hard kiss. He thrust his leg between Sam's and yanked Sam's head back to expose his throat. Castiel buried his face in Sam's neck, kissing him. Sam shivered at the feel of Castiel's stubble and tried to move his head. His cock pulsed with each touch, Sam bit his bottom lip as the friction built, and he drew closer to a climax.

"Cas," Sam moaned and threw his head back. Sam clung to Castiel with both hands as he came with a sighed of relief. Weeks of tension evaporated in that one moment and then the weight of Castiel was gone. Sam opened his eyes, knowing what he would find. The room was empty. He was alone again.

* * *

The tavern was full, and Sam leaned against the bar, his fourth beer of the night in front of him. A woman with dark hair sat down on the barstool beside him. He ignored her and downed the rest of his beer, signaling to the bartender that he wanted another.

"You come here often?" the woman beside him said.

Sam nodded. "Sure," he said. The fifth beer appeared before him, and Sam thanked Sadie, the bartender. He gulped half the beer down in one go, and set the bottle down on the bar.

The woman held out her hand for Sam to shake. "I'm Tara."

"Hi Tara," Sam said with a tip of his bottle in her direction. "I'm Frank." He barely glanced in her direction.

"Hi Frank," Tara said. She leaned in closer and smiled. Sam frowned and turned to face her.

"Look, no offence, but I'm kind of busy here." He turned his attention back to his beer.

She tore at the label of her beer. "I'm just sitting here," Tara said. Sam shrugged and tuned out the noises around him, breathing a sigh of relief when Tara gave up and moved to the other side of the bar.

"You keep chasing women away like that, they're liable to start thinking you're antisocial," Sadie said as she plunked down another beer in front of Sam. "Or gay."

Sam shrugged again and stared down at his beer. He glanced over his shoulder at the sound of a crash. Sam watched as two men thumped chests and shouted curses at each other. He set his beer down and slid from the bar stool at Sadie's nod.

Sam stalked over to the group of people and elbowed his way through the crowd that had built around the two angry men.

"Break it up," Sam said. He interjected himself between the two men and pushed them apart. They were obviously spoiling for a fight, and the bigger one got in Sam's face. "Back away. Now," Sam growled. He glared down at the man, using his height to his advantage. That seemed to take the wind out of the man's sails and he backed off. Sam scowled at both men and walked back to the bar when he was sure they wouldn't resume their feud. He slid back on his stool and finished his beer.

"Thanks, Frank," Sadie said. She slid another beer in front of him and leaned forward to gaze into Sam's eyes. "Maybe you should ask Sal for a job. We could use a..." her eyes traveled down to stare at Sam's mouth, "...manly presence around here."

"I heard that," a large man behind her said. He smiled at Sam and glared at Sadie, though there was no real anger behind his expression. Sadie winked at Sam and left to serve a customer on the other side of the bar.

Lost in thought, Sam didn't notice as the people around him went about their lives. He glanced up for a brief moment, watching as Sadie and Sal laughed together at the other end of the bar. Their lives seemed so simple. Sam sighed and focused on his beer, vowing it would be his last for the night. He finished it in one swig, and tossed a twenty on the bar then he made his exit.

The cool air felt good in Sam's lungs, and he inhaled deeply when he stepped outside. It was too late to get a room. Sam swayed as he walked to his car. Someone spun him around and he fell backwards to avoid the fist aimed at his face. Sam lurched, but managed to stay on his feet, landing his own punch to his opponent's gut. The man bent over in pain, but an unexpected kick to the back of Sam's legs sent him to his knees.

"Who the fuck do you think you are!" the man shouted.

Sam took a fist to his face and fell backwards. There were two of them. Sam thought he recognized one of them from the argument he'd broken up in the bar.

Sam dragged himself upright and swung at the man from the bar again, hitting him in the jaw. He was surprised when the man stayed upright, but his eyes went black and Sam understood. He was too late to duck the next few punches. The man grabbed a handful of Sam's jacket and punched him a few more times, each time harder than the last. His last punch was the hardest and sent Sam flying. Sam landed on his hands and knees and pain exploded through his entire body. He gritted his teeth and fought the urge to shout.

"You're a hard man to find," the man said through blood-coated teeth. A truck pulled out of the parking lot. As the truck turned, the demon's eyes glittered in the headlights.

"So I've heard," Sam said.

"We're supposed to bring you to him in one piece," the demon said with a smirk.

"I won't go anywhere with you." Sam pushed himself up onto his feet, changed his stance so that he faced both demon-possessed men, holding his fists up. His left arm hurt from the impact of the throw, but Sam fought the pain, ready to do some damage.

"As if you're going to beat us that way."

A bright light filled the parking lot, and someone grabbed Sam from behind. Sam squeezed his eyes shut and tried to cover them with his hands when the blinding light surrounded him, but he couldn't raise his arms. When the light faded, he was no longer in the parking lot. He spun around, prepared to fight whoever had grabbed him. He sighed with relief when he saw that it was Castiel.

They were in a small motel room. Sam noted a card propped up on the top of the television with the name Dusty Inn embossed in red. There were two beds and a large television on a wide dresser across from them. The room seemed familiar to Sam, but he was sure he'd never stayed in a Dusty Inn.

"Oh, it's you," Sam said. Sam sat down on one of the beds. He could still feel the alcohol in his body and wished he had something to drink right this second.

"It's me," Castiel said. Sam realized that there was something wrong when Castiel spun on his heel and paced like a caged animal around the room, his trench coat swirling around his legs as he walked.

"Things..." Castiel paused, his hands balled into fists and he narrowed his eyes at Sam before continuing his pacing. "They did not go well."

"And you're here because…?" Sam felt his heart flutter with a tiny bit of hope. He imagined Dean being too proud to call Sam. He pictured Dean in a fit of drunkenness, begging Castiel to go to Sam and talk him into coming back. He sat up straight and watched as Castiel walked then spun, walked then spun.

"They are all dead, Sam," Castiel said.

Sam's heart sputtered, and he stood up to grab Castiel by the shoulders. Sam felt his throat close up at the sorrow burned into Castiel's eyes. "What happened?" Sam nudged Castiel over to the bed and sat him down. He sat down beside him and averted his gaze because he couldn't look into those eyes much longer.

"Lucifer made a play for Dean," Castiel said.

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat. All of a sudden, he couldn't breathe, and his hands felt clammy.

"Is he..." Sam felt numb even as he said the words.

"Dean is fine," Castiel said. "But a town paid with their lives."

Sam placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder and squeezed. When Castiel leaned against him, Sam wrapped an arm around him.

"He killed them all regardless," whispered Castiel.

Sam could hear fear, awe, and something else in his voice. "I'm guessing you mean Lucifer and not Dean."

Castiel nodded and stared, lost in thought. Castiel stood, his obvious agitation growing by the second. Sam watched Castiel move around the room as though trapped inside the four walls. Sam realizing that Castiel probably did feel trapped cut off from heaven.

"Look, stay here," Sam said. He rushed to the door and yanked it open. "I'll be back soon."

It was probably the dumbest idea Sam had ever thought up, but he had to do something. Sam's car was in the parking lot, which was odd since he'd taken the Angel Express to the room, wherever the Dusty Inn was. He got in the car and tore out of the parking lot. He found what he was looking for. The store was open all night and, before long, he was back at the motel with a paper bag full of liquor. When Sam entered the motel room, Castiel was still standing in the center of the room. Sam stopped and glanced around the room, sure that Castiel was standing in the exact spot.

"This might seem like a bad idea," Sam said. "But it'll help you relax." He set the bag down on the table and motioned for Castiel to sit down. The angel obeyed with a sullen expression on his face. Sam pull the bottles from the bag and unwrapped two plastic cups and set them side-by-side, cracking the first bottle open. The scent of vodka assaulted his senses as Sam poured two fingers deep in each cup.

Castiel scooped the cup up and tossed the drink back with one gulp. He set the plastic cup down and looked at Sam. Sam poured some more vodka and watched Castiel down the second drink just as quickly.

"You've done this before," Sam said.

"Not with this drink, but I did have a beer with Dean," Castiel said. He held the cup out for more and Sam obliged. The bottle was empty in no time, and Sam had yet to take a drink.

"Do you feel any different?" Sam asked. He reached for the second bottle. This time the liquor of choice was Jack Daniels.

"No," Castiel said, though his voice sounded gruffer than before.

Sam set the open bottle down in front of Castiel and motioned for him to help himself. Castiel picked up the bottle and placed the mouth to his lips. Sam watched as Castiel tipped his head back and gulped the contents down. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he drank, and Sam stared with his mouth open, amazed. Castiel set the empty bottle down and licked his lips.

Sam leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. He watched Castiel lean back in his chair, a slight smile on his face.

"I wish to drink more," Castiel said. The eager look in his eyes made Sam smile.

They polished off the last two bottles. By the time it was over, Sam was good and drunk. He stood and swayed on his feet.

"You are a bottomless pit of bottomlessness." Sam slurred the words and waved a dismissive hand at Castiel. He stared down at his feet, which suddenly seemed miles away. "I don't even know if that's a word," Sam added. He threw his hands up in the air to demonstrate how much he didn't care and swayed to the left, almost falling to the floor. It felt good to be so drunk.

"I don't think I feel anything at all," Castiel said. He stood up and steadied Sam on his feet, staring up at him in with curiosity. "What does it feel like?"

Sam grinned. "Tingly," he said. He wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulder and leaned into him as he walked him to the bed. Sam turned and wrapped his arms around Castiel and lifted him up off the floor then set him down. Then he slid his hands up Castiel's arms to cup his face. Sam savored the thrill of scraping against stubble and tilted Castiel's head up to kiss him hard. Castiel parted his lips and pushed his tongue into Sam's mouth, eager. Sam sat down and pulled Castiel onto his lap, their mouths locked. When they broke the kiss, Sam pressed his forehead against Castiel's rough cheek and squeezed his eyes shut.

"This is perhaps an ill-advised course of action," Castiel whispered. Sam could smell the alcohol on Castiel's breath.

Sam nodded once and slid his cheek against Castiel's until their lips were touching again.

"My life tends to be like that," Sam muttered. He licked Castiel's mouth until the angel parted his soft lips again and kissed him back. Strong hands held Sam's head as Castiel kissed him long and hard, their tongues touching. Sam felt his cock harden even as Castiel slid from his lap to stand staring down at him through heavy lidded eyes.

"I should..." Castiel said with a shake of his head.

Sam grabbed his hand and yanked Castiel on top of him. He fell back on the bed, thrusting his leg between Castiel's and rolling them over so he could throw one leg across Castiel.

"I've got you trapped." Sam mouthed the words against Castiel's lips, kissing him. This time the kiss was long and lingering. Sam thrust against Castiel's hip, fumbling with Castiel's tie tossing it aside when he did manage to get the damned thing off.

"Why do you still wear his clothes?" Sam asked. He straddled Castiel's thighs and stared down at his sprawled form. Laid out like that under him, with his arms spread, Castiel looked like the most delicious offering Sam had ever seen.

"I have no need to change," Castiel said.

Sam's cock jumped in his pants. Even with all the alcohol in his system, he was horny as hell and needed, wanted to burn some of this energy and frustration away.

Sam slid away from Castiel and almost chuckled at the startled look on Castiel's face and the way he grabbed at Sam. Sam fell forward, grabbed Castiel by the lapels, and pulled him into an upright position.

"Off," Sam said. He slid the trench coat from Castiel and threw it aside. Castiel removed his jacket, letting it fall to the floor, and then started to unbutton the shirt. Sam watched his delicate, slender hands as he undid each button.

"Can you..." Sam motioned at Castiel's crotch with one hand even as he removed his own flannel shirt.

"Yes," Castiel said. With one smooth motion, he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and yanked them off to reveal white briefs. Sam turned his back on him, anxious to get undressed. He stripped down to his own briefs. When he turned to face Castiel, he found the angel buck-naked, his hard cock flush against his stomach.

"Wow, that's..." Sam sobered. Castiel lunged forward and mashed their mouths together. Without clothes on, Castiel looked fragile, but Sam could feel the strength coiled in those arms. A thrill coursed through Sam when their skin touched. Castiel's dick pushed up against Sam's thigh, long and hard and, when he moved, Sam shivered at the feel of all that skin against him.

It was Castiel's turn to pull Sam down on top of him. The bed settled beneath them. Castiel wrapped his legs and arms around Sam. They clung to each other, lost in the sensations of warm skin. Sam slid his hand down Castiel's back, cupped one round ass cheek, and then slipped his fingers between the globes of his ass.

Castiel pushed Sam down on the bed, deepening the kiss as their tongues danced. Castiel pulled at Sam's briefs and, together, they managed to slip the last piece of clothing between them away. Sam threw his head back when their cocks brushed together.

"Fuck," Sam muttered. He wanted to rub his entire body against Castiel. He wanted to kiss him all over and eat every inch of him. Sam sighed when Castiel caressed his chest, hips, and thighs, and then kissed him hard enough to make Sam wish he could come from that alone.

"I can feel this," Castiel said. He sat up and straddled Sam's thighs. Sam lay back and stared up at Castiel. He wanted Castiel's lips on his cock so bad. Before he could say the words, Castiel bent his back in a way that seemed impossible and wrapped his mouth around Sam.

Sam bucked up, thrusting his cock deep into Castiel's mouth. When Castiel tongued his sensitive head, Sam came with a shout.

Wide-eyed, Sam watched Castiel sit up and lick his lips.

"Interesting," Castiel said. His face screwed up with an expression of curiosity.

Sam tried to form a response, but nothing came to mind. Castiel still had a hard on. When Sam reached out and wrapped his hand around the length, Castiel fell forward and locked lips with Sam.

Sam stroked the length from base to tip and brushed his thumb across the wet head, watching the play of expression dance across Castiel's face. Castiel's eyes widened with each jerk. Sam reveled in the silky feel of Castiel's cock, speeding up his strokes. They kissed and Sam squeezed Castiel's cock, holding him in a firm grip as he climaxed. Sam deepened the kiss, pressing their mouths together. He caressed Castiel's shoulder with his free hand and released his spent cock, falling back onto the bed.

Once he'd recovered, Sam cleaned up and then settled onto the bed beside Castiel, his arms wrapped around him. It should have felt weird, but didn't.

"Was that your first...?" Sam said after a long silence.

"Yes," Castiel said. He shifted beside Sam, and Sam decided he liked the feel of Castiel's body hair against his skin.

Pulling Castiel in closer, Sam brushed his perennially stubbled cheek with his fingernails, enjoying the thrill it sent through his body. Castiel's dark eyes glittered in the dim light that filtered through the thin motel curtain. Jimmy's eyes. Sam wondered if any of the real Castiel peered through.

After what happened with Ruby, he'd vowed not to make the mistake again, yet there he was, traveling down the same dangerous path. The thought that what had happened was wrong and he shouldn't, had always been in the back of his mind, but it was much too late for remorse. Sam had made so many choices over the past few years that he regretted, what was one more?

"It's not," Castiel said. His deep voice rumbled through Sam.

"Not what?"

Castiel tilted his head up and looked into Sam's eyes. "I am not Jimmy Novak," Castiel said. He slid over Sam and propped himself up so that he could stare down at Sam from above. Sam almost expected a halo of light to appear around his head and wings to spring from his body. He felt a small twinge of disappointment when nothing happened.

"But you're possessing him," Sam said.

"No," Castiel said. He reached up and cupped Sam's cheek with one hand, tilting his head. "Jimmy Novak was blown into a million pieces back in Chuck Shurley's kitchen."

Sam felt a pang of sadness. "You mean Jimmy's...."

Castiel nodded, his eyes filled with sorrow. "I'm afraid so. Whatever or whomever brought me back, created a body that resembles the vessel I inhabited, but this is not an actual vessel."

"You think it was God," said Sam, confused.

There was a long stretch of silence before Castiel replied, "I do."

Sam couldn't take the look in Castiel's eyes much longer. He closed his eyes and kissed Castiel with tongue, teeth, and an urgency he hadn't known was there until now. Sam thrust against Castiel's pliant, subtle body, grinning against the kiss when he felt hardness press against his belly. Sam grabbed Castiel's cock in his hand and stroked him, rough and fast.

"Yes," Castiel moaned. Teeth scraped Sam's lips, and he sucked on the warm, wet tongue invading his mouth. Before long, Castiel was shouting his pleasure against Sam's skin as he came.

Sam urged Castiel to turn on his stomach and caressed his back, thighs, shoulders, and ass. He started a trail of kisses at the base of his soft neck and kissed down his spine, with a few licks thrown in. Sam's cock bobbed up and down, eager, but he didn't rush. He took his time and savored each kiss and each lick, marveling at the tastes that danced across his tongue.

"That feels...wonderful," Castiel said, turning so that he could see Sam. His legs parted and Sam stared at the perfect curve of his ass. Sam kissed one cheek then the other. Spreading his cheeks, he licked Castiel's hole with slow, careful strokes of his tongue. He glanced up from his task to find Castiel watching him. Sam bit down on the soft flesh and grinned when Castiel jerked.

"Did you feel that?" Sam asked. He didn't bother to wait for a reply. When he pushed his tongue inside, Castiel spread his legs wider and arched his back.

"I did," Castiel said with a quaver in his voice. "Your actions have produced another erection."

Sam buried his face between Castiel's cheeks, thrusting his tongue in deeper, fucking his hole. He gripped the soft flesh of Castiel's thighs and held him down as Castiel quivered beneath him.

Sam slid his hand under Castiel and caressed his cock. Sure enough, he was hard again, and Sam wondered if angels had extra stamina. Sam would find out soon enough. He placed one last kiss on Castiel's ass and reached for his pants. He knew what he needed was always in his wallet. He'd learned long ago to never travel without protection. When he found what he what he was looking for, he tossed the wallet aside and knelt between Castiel's spread legs. Castiel watched in silence out of the corner of his eye while Sam slipped the lubricated condom on. He lay down behind Castiel and coaxed him to lean against his chest. With one hand on Castiel's shoulder, Sam pushed into Castiel.

Sam moaned at the tight warmth wrapped around him, thrusting his hips to move in and out, slow and careful. He took his time and gripped Castiel's hip to hold him in place. Castiel's body tensed and relaxed beneath Sam's touch and, as he pushed inside, Sam felt all his fear and doubt slip away.

"Is this good?" Castiel whispered.

"Sh," Sam said into his ear. He sucked on the lobe and snapped his hips. With each thrust, Sam felt his body explode with pleasure.

Castiel twisted his head enough for Sam to catch his mouth in a hard, passion-filled kiss. Castiel bit down on his bottom lip. Sam fucked harder, each thrust faster than the last. He turned them both and repositioned them so that Castiel was on his hands and knees. Sam fucked into him with renewed vigor. He gripped Castiel's hips with both hands, his fingers buried in his flesh. Sam slammed into his tight, silky heat, pounding harder with each thrust until the bed swayed beneath them. He watched his cock disappear inside Castiel and quickened his thrusts, eager to come but at the same time, wishing it would last longer. Sam thrust one last time and pulled Castiel tight against him, buried deep inside. His cock pulsed, trapped inside Castiel's tight heat. At the same time, Sam placed a gentle kiss on Castiel's throat.

* * *

Something woke Sam. Castiel was still in the bed beside him sound asleep, which seemed unusual since angels didn't need sleep as far as Sam knew. Sam slid his briefs and jeans on and walked across the cold floor to push the curtain aside. He vaguely remembered hearing a loud crash, or maybe the wind. It was pitch dark outside, the sky filled with black clouds.

Sam shrugged his shoulders and cracked his neck. He turned back to the bed at the sound of a moan and watched Castiel shift on the bed, still sound asleep. The blankets had slipped down to his waist and his upper body was exposed. Sam walked back to the bed and sat down, gazing at Castiel. In sleep, Castiel looked peaceful and serene, his hair tousled from their evening activity.

"He's a vision," a voice behind Sam said.

Sam straightened and whipped around to face the intruder. Lucifer stood with his arms crossed, still dressed in the same clothes that he wore the last time he invaded Sam's dreams. Sam stood and followed as Lucifer walked to the other side of the bed and smiled down at Castiel.

"Like an angel," Lucifer said. He placed his fingers to his lips. "Though I have to say, he's not very angelic with you." He bent forward and Sam tensed, expecting some violent retaliation of some kind, but Lucifer only lifted the blanket with a finger to peek beneath.

"Don't touch him," Sam said, ready to rush forward, and then a thought occurred. How was Lucifer even there? It had to be another dream.

"Got it in one," Lucifer said. He pointed at Castiel's sleeping form. "He's not even really here. As if he'd stay after your fornication."

"Get out of my head," Sam said. He watched Lucifer pace across the room, his gaze never leaving him.

"You can't keep hiding behind Castiel's skirts," Lucifer said with a mischievous grin. "Not that he's wearing much of anything for you to hide behind right now."

"What do you want?" Sam glared, feeling anger build in his chest.

"I was hoping that since you were willing to get inside him," Lucifer said with a chuckle, "You might be up for some action with me." He raised his eyebrows.

Sam's rage exploded, and he rushed forward to push Lucifer up against the wall. Lucifer didn't fight him, and to Sam's frustration, the smile on his face grew.

"I will never be 'up for some action with you!'" Sam screamed. He pushed his arm against Lucifer's throat and relished the feel of flesh giving way beneath his grip.

"You will, Sam," Lucifer said, calm as though Sam didn't have him by the throat. "You'll not just be up for it, you'll love it."

"Never!" Sam raged. He pushed harder and felt Lucifer's Adam's apple bob beneath his skin.

Castiel shifted on the bed and muttered in his sleep. The two combatants stopped and watched as the blankets shifted and slipped off Castiel's hips, exposing his erection.

"Oh," Lucifer chuckled. "Look at that. He's all ready for you again." He placed a hand to his ear and leaned toward the bed with an exaggerated motion of straining to hear. "What's he saying? I can't quite make it out."

Sam strained to hear the words. He loosened his grip on Lucifer, but kept him pinned to the wall. When one word echoed through the room, Sam pushed away from Lucifer and stared down at Castiel.

"Dean."

The next time, Sam woke he wasn't in a dream. He was still in the motel he'd shared with Castiel, and the bed beside him was empty. Sam reached out to touch the sheets but they were cold. There was no sign that Castiel had ever been there.

* * *

He was in his car, headed nowhere. After that last dream, Sam needed to get as far from that place as possible, even knowing Lucifer would still be able to find him no matter where he went. The only place where he'd been safe was Bobby's, but Sam wasn't thinking about that. He couldn't go back there. Besides, it was too late. More than a year had passed since he last saw the man, and the danger Sam represented had not vanished. If anything, things were much worse. Lucifer found him sooner and sooner these days.

The light of the sunrise reflected off Sam's rear view mirror. He reached up and changed the angle, jumping in his seat when Lucifer's reflection appeared in the mirror. Sam swerved to the left, almost driving the car into the ditch before he straightened the wheel. He pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the engine. When he twisted around to face the back seat, there was no one there.

"Messing with my head," Sam muttered. "Just like you were messing with my head about Cas." He sat in the silence for a moment to allow his racing heart to slow back down to normal. When he reached for the ignition, the sound of flapping wings filled the car.

Sam cursed under his breath and glared at the occupant in the front seat beside him.

"Expecting someone else," Lucifer said with a wave of his hand and smile on his face. He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm trapped in here." Lucifer reached out and tapped Sam on the temple with one finger. Sam shrunk back, revulsion coiled in his stomach.

"Get the fuck out of my head," Sam said. When he reached out to grab at Lucifer, he caught nothing but air. Lucifer had vanished. Sam took a deep breath and pinched his arm a few times, each pinch harder than the last. "It's just another dream."

"I've latched on and there's nothing you can do to shake me," Lucifer said from the back seat.

Sam bent his head and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that if he wished him away, the back seat would be empty again. When he looked back up, he was alone again. Sam slammed his head against the headrest a few times in the hope of shaking himself from the nightmare.

It had to be a nightmare. He was still asleep in the motel, Castiel sound asleep beside him. He had to be. Except, Castiel never slept and that had all been a dream too. Castiel wanted Sam. He was there because he wanted Sam.

Sam started the car and turned back onto the road.

"I didn't want to break this to you back in that sleazy motel, Sam." The voice seemed to be in his head. "You've already said yes. You're just in denial."

Sam tried to ignore the taunt and concentrated on the road but he felt his heart race, repeating in his head, 'It's not real. It's just a dream.' The taunts persisted, but Sam tuned them out. 'I'm not here. This isn't real. I'm going to would wake up now. Now. NOW!' Sam slammed his head against the steering wheel.

"Fuck!" Sam shot up in bed, his heart pounding in his chest. His body was covered in sweat and the bed sheets were drenched. Dressed again, Castiel rushed forward and stood over Sam. Sam stared at the knot in Castiel's tie, the terror from the dream still twisted in Sam's gut.

"You were trapped in your dreams," Castiel said.

Sam glanced down at himself, afraid he'd awakened again to find it was yet another dream. They were still in the same motel room, and Sam shivered as he looked up into Castiel's troubled eyes.

"This is real," Sam said more than asked. He pointed at himself and waited for Castiel to respond. "Right?" Castiel stood open-mouthed, seemingly at a loss for words. Sam clenched his jaw, frustrated that Castiel wouldn't answer him. Sam sprang forward, grabbed Castiel by the collar, and crushed their mouths together. It felt real, but how could he be sure?

Castiel broke the kiss and settled in beside Sam, one hand on Sam's naked chest. A thrill coursed through Sam at the touch, and he placed a tender kiss on Castiel's bruised lips. The kiss turned from heated to gentle and warmed Sam's chilled flesh.

"This is real." Castiel kissed him again and rubbed his stubbled cheek against Sam's skin. He gripped Sam's hardening cock in one hand and stroked him from root to tip, his warm fingers brushing the sensitized head. Sam closed his eyes and sucked air through his teeth.

"Fuck, yes," Sam hissed. He crushed his lips against Castiel's luscious mouth and pulled him in closer, his grip so tight that Sam was sure he would hurt Castiel. Sam shuddered when he felt Castiel's moan all the way down to his cock, and he cried out as he bucked and came in Castiel's tight grip.

He could feel Castiel's hardness pressed against his leg, but Sam lay spent. The lethargy he felt weighted down his entire body. He tried to will his arms to move, but his mind had other ideas. He decided to just rest for a moment while he recovered, and then he'd help Castiel undress and show him how good he felt.

Castiel hovered over Sam and stared down at him. A smile played across his lips. Sam grinned lazily, feeling overcome with the urge to sleep. He hoped Castiel would understand.

The bed shifted as Castiel removed his trench coat and jacket. The tie and shirt went next, tossed over the edge of the bed. Castiel's gaze never left Sam. He stared down with an inscrutable gaze and divested himself of all his clothing. Sam watched with renewed enthusiasm, reaching out to touch Castiel's naked chest. He pinched a rosy nipple and smirked at Castiel's response. Castiel leaned in closer until he pressed his chest against Sam's face, and Sam took the opportunity to bite down on the nearest nipple.

"I think I like it when you bite me," Castiel said.

Sam took that as an invitation and bit down harder. He played with the nipple between his teeth and caressed Castiel's chest. Castiel's other nipple peaked under the touch, and Sam tweaked it. He smiled when Castiel arched his body and pushed closer. Eager sounds escaped his throat. Sam shifted and bit Castiel across his chest. Castiel humped against him, his hard cock rubbing against Sam's hip. With each bite Sam delivered, Castiel thrust against his body. Sam could feel the pulse of Castiel's cock and he bit down harder. A cry of pleasure escaped Castiel.

Sam wrapped his long arms around Castiel's torso and bit down hard enough to leave marks. He stared down at the red, angry flesh, his own cock jumping at the sight. Castiel arched his back and pressed his skin close to Sam's mouth. A whimper escaped his lips.

"Beg me," Sam said. He licked the bite mark and teased the skin. It didn't matter what Lucifer said. Sam knew the truth. Castiel was here with him right now.

Castiel pressed closer. "Please," he said with a broken voice.

"Again," Sam said. He teased the skin, but didn't bite down. He could feel Castiel's hard cock pressed tight against him, and Sam moved just enough to cause friction between them.

"Please," Castiel said with more insistence. He grabbed at Sam, but his hands fell away when Sam slid down and bit him on the hip. Sam rubbed his chest against the cock trapped against him, and smiled when Castiel pulsed.

"Again," Sam urged. "Say 'please, Sam.'" This time his licks were longer and slower. He stopped just at the edge of Castiel's pubic hair and pressed his chin into flesh. Castiel's cock jumped, and he bucked against Sam.

"Please, Sam." There was no hesitation in the words, but just beneath Sam's name, another name echoed. Sam ignored the false word. Castiel's voice reverberated through the room, filling every corner and crevice. The paintings on the wall shook and vibrated with his passion, one of them crashing to the floor. Sam bit down on Castiel's hip again as hard as he could. When Castiel jerked up, he almost threw Sam from the bed, but Sam held on tight with his hands and teeth.

He released his grip and watched Castiel's cock pulse, come shooting all over his belly and chest. Sam captured the head in his mouth and sucked hard. Castiel threw his head back and cried out. The whole room shook beneath them as Sam ignored the pain in his head. He allowed Castiel to slip from his mouth and nuzzled his hip.

The room went silent and Castiel collapsed against the bed, his body going limp, though Sam detected tension coiled just beneath the surface. He slid up and settled in beside Castiel, caressing his chest and hip with slow lazy strokes. Castiel turned to look at Sam through heavy lids. Sam closed his eyes and rested his hand on Castiel's chest, overcome by his own languor.

"I will never let him take you," Sam heard Castiel say just before he felt sleep pull him into darkness.

 

Epilogue

The warmth of the sun woke Castiel. He stretched and yawned. Beside him, Sam shifted and settled down again, pushing his face against Castiel's side. Castiel stared down at the tousled hair and long dark lashes. He brushed a thumb across Sam's cheek and watched as his eyes fluttered open.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," Castiel said. He moved to get up, but Sam nudged him back down with a twinkle in his eyes. Something was different. Castiel's eyes went wide.

"It's all good," Sam said with a bright grin.

A chill ran up Castiel's spine. "No, it isn't," Castiel said. In the time that it took for Sam to blink, Castiel moved from the bed to the center of the room. His clothes were on again and he looked around the room, fear building in his chest.

"I shouldn't have been able to sleep. I don't require rest." Castiel looked down at his body as though he would see the signs of why he'd passed out last night.

"That's cool." Sam shrugged and propped himself up against the headboard with his hands behind his head. "I don't mind that you passed out on me after sex. It's kind of hot."

"Something is wrong," Castiel said. He could hear the panic in his own voice. The same chill he'd felt just moments earlier filled him again. He rushed to the window and pulled the curtains aside. "Why are we in Detroit?"

"We were always here," Sam said. He got out of bed and padded across the carpeted floor to stand behind Castiel.

"No, we weren't," Castiel said. He turned to face Sam and shook his head, his eyes growing wider. "You're...." Castiel backed away from Sam, fear in his heart.

"I'm," Sam moved in closer until he had Castiel up against the wall. He placed his hand on the wall and moved into Castiel's personal space.

"When did he say yes?" Castiel lifted his chin and set his jaw. He puffed up his chest, defiance building deep inside.

"Not that long ago," Sam said with a shrug, but it wasn't Sam anymore. It was Lucifer, who shoved away from the wall and twirled in a circle, arms wide. "You like the new digs, brother? I slipped in and waited until just the right moment."

Castiel swallowed his terror. "Why?" Castiel could barely form a coherent sentence. The realization that Sam was no longer Dean Winchester's brother and that he had failed to protect him, rendered Castiel speechless.

"It wasn't easy. I persuaded him that his brother would never see him as anything but evil," Lucifer said. He inhaled and ran a hand through Sam's long hair. "Not to mention the fact that you always thought of him as a monster." Lucifer swaggered across the room and stopped in front of Castiel. "The boy with the demon blood." He mimicked Castiel's own voice.

"No," Castiel said. His gaze traveled over to the rumpled bed and Lucifer glanced in the same direction.

"Oh yeah," Lucifer said with a smirk. "Don't worry, you're amazing in bed." He winked and smirked at Castiel.

Castiel felt his veins turn to ice.

"It was kind of creepy though, don't you think?" Lucifer said. He shrugged and flopped down onto the bed. "Not to mention disgusting. Why would you want to fornicate with them?" Lucifer twisted Sam's once beautiful face into an ugly sneer. "Oh, I know what you wish deep down inside, brother."

"You know nothing about me," Castiel said. He should have left, but fear and disbelief kept him rooted to the spot. Maybe this wasn't happening, and Lucifer had found some way to play a trick on him.

"Maybe," Lucifer said with another casual shrug. "You might want to run along now and tell your boyfriend all about your recreational activates with his brother. Oh and while you're at it, tell him that Sammy is mine. Don't skimp on the details." Lucifer made a shooing motion with one hand, and Castiel stared in horror. A blinding light flashed in the room. Castiel raised his hand to protect his eyes and when he looked back, Lucifer was gone.

Sam Winchester was gone, forever.

* * *

The kitchen was dark and empty. Castiel sat down hard in one of the chairs. His heart still pounded from his encounter with Lucifer. He had no idea how he would break this news to Dean. What could he say that would lessen the impact? He sat in the darkness, and his mind raced. His world had unraveled. Castiel could feel the change in the air all around him.

Castiel jumped up when Dean suddenly appeared seemingly from nowhere, surprise on his face.

"Hey," Dean said. He took two beers from the refrigerator and opened one. "When did you get back from Detroit?"

"Just now," Castiel said, unable to look Dean in the eye. His throat felt dry and his heartbeat sped up. He steeled himself and lifted his head.

"What, Cas?" Dean said. From Dean's expression, Castiel knew he couldn't hide his failure.

"I am sorry, Dean," Castiel said. He shook his head and lowered his gaze. His heart ached at the thought of the pain this would cause Dean. Ellen and Jo Harvelle's deaths had already taken an enormous toll on Dean's already strained psyche. The look of defeat and sorrow in Dean's eyes when he allowed their sacrifice for the failed attempt to gain access to Lucifer burned in Castiel's mind.

Castiel felt Dean grip him by the shoulders and shake him back to the here and now. He came face to face with Dean, and Castiel braced himself.

"Sam said yes," Castiel uttered, and shivered when Dean's grip on him tightened.

"What did you say?"

Dean's mouth fell open, and they both turned at Bobby's words.

"Lucifer walks the earth in Sam Winchester." Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat and his shoulders sagged.

"Take me to him," Dean said.

Castiel pulled out of Dean's grip and wished himself away from this place, but decided against abandonment at the last moment.

"You don't want to see him," Castiel said. He was prepared to fight Dean with his last breath, but the sorrow-filled look in Dean's eyes stopped him.

"I have got to see him for myself, Cas," Dean said. "Please."

Castiel nodded and placed two fingers on Dean's forehead. Moments later, they were outside, somewhere in Detroit, a tall figure standing before them.

"Turn around and face me," Dean said with bravado. Castiel could feel Dean vibrating with terror and anger, and wished there was something else he could do.

Sam spun around, and it was plain to Castiel Sam Winchester was truly lost to them. Dressed in a pristine white suit with white shoes, he smiled at them and bit down on his lower lip.

"Hello, Castiel," Lucifer said. "You brought me a present."

Castiel stepped between Dean and Lucifer, his head held high. "Never," he said, puffing his chest up with courage he no longer felt. He watched Lucifer take a few careful steps to the right and made sure that Dean stayed behind him.

"You know you can't protect him," Lucifer said.

"Get the fuck out of him," Dean said. He rushed forward, but Castiel held him back.

Lucifer tilted his head, in imitation of an affectation that Castiel had seen Sam use many times. Castiel felt Dean shrink back, and turned in time to see the revulsion on Dean's face.

"Go home and play pretend," Lucifer said, his lips curled in a sneer.

"How could you, Sammy?" Dean said. His voice choked on the nickname.

Lucifer crossed his arms and canted his hips. He motioned to Castiel with his head. "Castiel knows, don't you brother?" He winked and pursed his lips in a mock kiss. "I'd love to stay but I have big plans."

A flash of lightning flared, and they were alone. Dean rushed forward as Castiel loosened his grip.

"I'm sorry," Castiel said. Rage filled Dean's eyes and he pushed Castiel. Though he could have easily stopped Dean, Castiel allowed himself to fall to the ground. He gazed up at Dean, ready to take any punishment that Dean dished out. Dean stood over him, panting, his eyes filled with tears.

"Take me home," Dean said. "Now!" Dean added when Castiel didn't move from his prone position. Dean yanked Castiel to his feet, pulling him in close against his chest, one arm wrapped around Castiel's waist. Their eyes locked and Castiel stared wide-eyed as Dean pressed closer, their noses touching.

"If I ever find out that you had something to do with this...."

The sentence cut short as Castiel whisked them away. Dean released his hold on Castiel and turned to face Bobby. They all turned to Dean and waited. Somewhere in the house, a clock struck midnight. The chimes filled their ears, seeming to get louder with each ring.

"This changes nothing," Dean said, his voice devoid of any emotion. Castiel felt a shiver run up his spine, and he knew that he was truly alone. Heaven would not come to their aid.

"We should get some sleep," Bobby said.

"Then in the morning, we start trying to find a way to kill… the devil." Dean turned and walked away, his shoulders sagging. Castiel wanted to follow him, to give comfort, but he knew there were not enough words to change what had transpired. He also knew deep down in his core, that they would not win. They had already failed. He had failed.

He could feel his faith dissolve. He watched Bobby shake his head and turn away from him, just as heaven had turned away from him.

End


End file.
